speaking to me
with lips chapped
and blue blooded
from the cold

a horrible connection
aphrodesiac amnesia
a clandestine heart
ripped, still pumping 

i once had a thought
iridescent love spoke
through me
nothing could go wrong

i was wrong of course
liquid assets like blood, spit
saliva is free but we share it
pain like the incision 

an insulin of heart
you sugar me
beets to my dirt
orange but bitter

i can only hold so much
my little hands
around you
a withering poem, an ode

  

whiskey-like mouth slurring
like key lime kisses
cigar halos
you know me

a sequence of comforts
of silence sometimes
of sitting in separate
squares of collision 

this, is love
horrible, horrid aloneness
yet with someone
not so horrid, afterall 

i wanted kisses
passion berries with fangs
thorns, that stain clothes
yes, i’ve coagulated

a painful realization
nothingness awaits
yet these are our days
full with empty

i’d never ask for more
you ask who i’m talking to
God i tell you
you ask if i’m praying
if talking to God is praying,
then yes
i’m ruining everything
words tore down my hopes
i’m tearing like paper
what are those noises?

water turns on and off
the ghosts of somebody
snores and shiftless sleep
all around me reminders

i keep you hidden
my heart chamber
clamors for your kisses
i tell nobody

why don’t you kill me
who was i before you?
not even i know
am i sad to be this?

change holds me tight
i’m dizzy it’s sickening
the speed escalates
tomorrow is here, now gone

as i write this
no more quiet
the night my only friend
i only know myself
as stillness
when everyone sleeps
i begin to creep out

im leaving this body
there’s none i need more 
i don’t want to die
i’m just saying, life is so full

where do you go?
unfinished and unfinishing
diminishing life
like a lottery to behold

i hold you
only you understand
me mute and clumsy
punching my way out of a paper bag

who are all these voices
what warm creatures
i feed and bathe
lives that depend on me

best friends i never see
yet i know what shes thinking

i have become her too